To Know Something Through Sweets: A Study of Honey Brew and Personality
A stone tablet near the brewing area that contains some "fun facts" about honey brew, written in wobbly handwriting. Seems like the author was quite tipsy at the time.
To Know Something Through Sweets: A Study of Honey Brew and Personality
Preface Honey brew tastes great, and anyone who likes it is a good person. But good people come in many varieties, so let's see just how good they really are.
Preface II Why am I writing this? Because I'm a scholar, and I'm happy right now. Everything logically makes sense. And no, I'm not drunk. Not at all.
By Flavor - Grape (Original honey brew) A favorite of those Skyfolk. I figure they insist on pure honey brew because there's no such thing in the sky to begin with. After asking around, it turns out plenty of folks are still loyal to the original taste. There sure are a lot of old-schoolers.
- Pomegranate (Sanguine honey brew) A well-known fact: A honey brew of pomegranate flavor contains zero grapes. Another fact everyone knows: If someone claims to prefer pomegranate honey brew, especially those who use the word "nostalgia," don't mess with them. You probably don't stand a chance fighting against them.
- Wheat (Chrysos honey brew) "None of us can taste Celestial Ambrosia or the Dew of Divine Blood, but that heroic golden color still makes everyone crave a sip. Chrysos honey brew is a very popular flavor, representing people's hopes for the future." Ahahaha. The above is total advertising nonsense. But I actually like this flavor too.
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- Mint (Herbal honey brew) In all of Amphoreus, only those from the Grove would order this kind of honey brew. Its flavor is as offensive as their research topics. They love to argue and question everything until they've unveiled everything. But when trouble comes knocking? They're exactly who you need. Shame that hardly anyone orders this anymore since that sharp-tongued professor chose to become stone.
Just Give Me Anything (Awful) These people came to talk. They don't like honey brew at all. Feel free to kick them out. The great Phagousa would shower you with praise.
By Concentration Why did I even start this section? The concentration of Phagousa's honey brews is all randomized, and Lady Hysilens hasn't changed that tradition. But since I've begun, I might as well finish it. The randomness means I never judge someone based on which strength they prefer.
- Very Light (Below 10% Intoxication) Only absolute cowards drink this watery trash of a honey brew!!! Gentle on the palate and universally adored. When the Ocean's power threatens to erupt from your stomach up to your mouth, everyone prays their next bottle is of this strength. Those who stand by this concentration are typically welcoming, like total pushovers like those outworlders newly enlisted soldiers. Though ironically, they're all over a thousand years old now.
- Light (10% to 20% Intoxication) Ah, my personal favorite! Wanna know how fans of this strength are like? Just look at me! Cheerful, full of curiosity, perfect long-term companion material, with occasional mood swings as our only drawback. I especially recommend it with cotton flavor.
- Medium (20% to 35% Intoxication) Fans of this strength are, simply put, your average people. Nothing makes them happier than huddling together and knocking back drink after drink. "*gulp* Ahh... this brew has the perfect punch. All praise to Phagousa!" Thinking about it, those two inseparable dukes also prefer this strength. I can never get those Dux titles right.
- Strong (30% to 50% Intoxication) I don't get it, and I don't want to.
- Very Strong (Above 50% Intoxication) Oh, Dux Goldweaver, I just miss your masterful skills. Folks who favor this strength have typically either racked up impressive battlefield achievements or bear significant scars — mental or physical. Or perhaps they were simply born with exceptional resilience. I recommend making friends with these folks. The stories they tell could drown me.
- Sober Brew (Non-intoxicating beverage that replicates the flavor only) I nearly forgot about this. Legend tells that long ago, a honey brew manager crafted this specially for the child hostage Holy Maiden, only to discover the whole thing was a misunderstanding. They planned to seal it away forever, but someone discovered it and repurposed it as a honey brew substitute. Can't exactly march into battle intoxicated, can you? It's all gone now. Production was already limited, and a cat somehow consumed the entire stock before our revelry began. I really wish I could have tried it.
Afterword Goodness! By Hysilens above, I've spent six hours and three quints on this tablet journal, and I'm completely sober now. What absolute drivel have I written here? Ah, well, since everyone's drunk, and the revelry never ends, nobody will care about my scribblings. I'll just leave this here for entertainment. Oh Hysilens above, what utter gibberish have I recorded? I need another bottle immediately. I'm done here.